He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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