There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
