Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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