similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
