i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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