shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
