O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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