didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You ate ashes out of my bong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
