Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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