weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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