Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize