Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
