rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
