Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
