I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
