hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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