road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
