youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
