I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
