If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
