Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
