We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
