I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
