i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
