I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
whose parrot is this?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
