Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Boobs are out for the taking
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
