we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
