You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
