I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
worst night to have a conscience
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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