Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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