The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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