JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
