Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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