I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
