Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Operation Purity has been aborted
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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