she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
