Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
