it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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