i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
