I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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