she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
