i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
