She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
