i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
