i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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