so explain again why im purple
no
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
