Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
