I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
