He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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