There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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