He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
