i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
