a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Randomize
